Camp Winton Songbook
skit notes
The Burfle Hunter comes out, places the seat, and does the entire skit from a seated position.
This is a repeat after me skit.​
[begins a moderate knee slap, clap pattern]
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'.
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'!
Got my hat,
Got my coat,
Got my bazookie [indicates stick],
I ain't afeared.
So let's go.
Let's gooooooooooo!
[moves arms out to cut everybody off]
Oh look, it's my cabin door.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta go through it.
Open the door,
Close the door.
Aw, shoot, I forgot to go through the door!
Open the door,
Walk through the door,
Close the door.
Whew!
All right.
​
[begins slap clap]
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'.
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'!
Got my hat,
Got my coat,
Got my bazookie,
I ain't afeared.
So let's go.
Let's gooooooooooo!
[moves arms out to cut everybody off]
Would you look at that.
It's a big tree.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta climb up it.
[takes bazookie stick, holds it upright, hand-over-hand "climbs" it, turns it over and "climbs" it a second time. Looks around with hand shading the eyes.]
Hey!
I can see my cabin from here!
[takes bazookie stick and "climbs" down it the same way]
Whew!
​
[begins slap clap]
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'.
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'!
Got my hat,
Got my coat,
Got my bazookie,
I ain't afeared.
So let's go.
Let's gooooooooooo!
[moves arms out to cut everybody off]
​
Would you look at that.
It's a big field of grass.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta go through it.
[makes drawn out swishing noises]
That's the long grass.
[makes short squeaky noises]
That's the short grass.
[sings a twangy line from "Dueling Banjos" while playing the bazookie stick like a banjo]
And that, kids, is what they call bluegrass.
Whew!
​
[begins slap clap]
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'.
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'!
Got my hat,
Got my coat,
Got my bazookie,
I ain't afeared.
So let's go.
Let's gooooooooooo!
[moves arms out to cut everybody off]
​
Oh, would you look at that.
It's a canyon!
A great big canyon.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta jump over it!
One... two... three!
[starts screaming and flailing for a good while, then "gets a phone call" and holds hand up to ear]
Yeah?
Oh hi, Ranger Steve!
Yeah, I'm goin' burfle huntin'!
Yes, I got out of my cabin door.
What do you mean, how many times did I have to try?
What does that matter?
Uh, well, anyway, can I call you back in five minutes?
Yeah, you too.
[resumes screaming and flailing, then "lands"]
I made it!
But I jumped right out of my boots!
Aw, who needs them?
[begins slap clap]
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'.
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'!
Got my hat,
Got my coat,
Got my bazookie,
I ain't afeared.
So let's go.
Let's gooooooooooo!
[moves arms out to cut everybody off]
​
Burfle cave ahead.
Now you can tell it's a burfle cave
because of the bright neon sign that says "Burfle Cave."
Let's go inside.
​
[shoulders bazookie like a rifle and moves feet for the rhythm]
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'.
[scared] I'm goin' Burfle huntin'.
Got my hat,
Got my coat,
Got my bazookie [indicates stick],
I ain't afeared.
Well, maybe a little.
So let's go.
​
Ah!
Burfle ahead.
Now you can tell it's a burfle
Because it's got teeth thiiiiiiiiis long [holds arm out wide and brings them in close on "long"]
And it's got a mouth thiiiiiiiiis wide [holds hands close and shoots them apart on "wide"]
Ready,
Aim,
Fire!
Wait a minute!
This ain't a bazookie!
It's just a stick!
Run away!
Aaaaaaahhhh!
​
[very fast slap clap]
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'.
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'!
Got my hat,
Got my coat,
Got my bazookie,
I ain't afeared.
So let's go.
Let's gooooooooooo!
[moves arms out to cut everybody off]
​
Canyon ahead!
No time to think!
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta jump over it.
One two three!
[screaming and flailing again until another phone call comes through]
Oh hi, Ranger Steve.
Yeah, the Burfle is chasing me.
Oh yeah.
I'll be back in about five minutes.
No, you hang up.
[looks at the phone]
He hung up on me!
Aw, who needs him?
[screaming and flailing until landing]
Hey!
I landed back in my boots!
But they're on backwards!
Aw, who needs them?
Now I know I'm safe
because burfles can't jump over canyons.
[takes the bazookie stick and starts spinning it overhead while making chopper noises.]
Oh no!
The burfle's got a helicopter!
Run away!
​
[very fast slap clap]
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'.
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'!
Got my hat,
Got my coat,
Got my bazookie,
I ain't afeared.
So let's go.
Let's gooooooooooo!
[moves arms out to cut everybody off]
​
It's that grassy field again.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Gotta go through it.
[makes drawn out swishing noises]
That's the long grass.
[makes short squeaky noises]
That's the short grass.
[sings a twangy line from "Dueling Banjos" while playing the bazookie stick like a banjo]
And that, kids, is what they call bluegrass.
Now I know I'm safe
because burfles can't go through grass.
[makes sound like starting a gas mower]
Oh no!
The burfle's got a lawnmower!
Run away!
​
[very fast slap clap]
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'.
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'!
Got my hat,
Got my coat,
Got my bazookie,
I ain't afeared.
So let's go.
Let's gooooooooooo!
[moves arms out to cut everybody off]
​
Oh look.
It's that great big tree again.
Can't go under it.
Can't go around it.
Wait a minute, I can go around it!
Go around the tree.
Now I know I'm safe
because burfles can't go around trees.
[makes chainsaw noises]
Oh no!
The burfle's got a chainsaw!
Run away!
​
[very fast slap clap]
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'.
I'm goin' Burfle huntin'!
Got my hat,
Got my coat,
Got my... why do I still have this? [throws bazookie stick away]
I ain't afeared.
So let's go.
Get to the cabin.
Open the door.
Close the door.
Aw man, I forgot to go through the door!
Open the door.
Go through the door.
Close the door.
Go up the stairs.
Get into bed.
Now I know I'm safe
because burfles are afraid of Ranger Steve.
​
I'm goin' burfle huntin' tomorrow.
Good night.