Camp Winton Songbook
skit notes
"it has its ups and downs" can get a laugh if you play it right.
Bell Ringer #1
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Announcer: The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and has placed an ad in the Paris Times for someone to come and learn how to ring the bells.
[Knock, knock, knock]
Hunchback: Oh, somebody must be here about my job. I'll go down and see. [Goes 'round and 'round the campfire, as if going down the bell tower, bent over due to hunch.]
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[Knock, knock, knock]
Hunchback: I'm coming, I'm coming. There's a lot of stairs here. [Arrives at and opens the door.] Yeah! What do you want?
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Applicant: I'm here about the bell ringer's job.
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Hunchback: All right! Come on up and I'll see if you can do the job. [Begins to go up (the other way around) followed by the applicant.]
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Applicant: Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it?
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Hunchback: Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day for 45 years and you just learn to stay bent over. Hey, did you close that door, didn't you?
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Applicant: I don't know. I don't remember.
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Hunchback: Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't run up the church's fuel bill. [Both turn around and go back.] That's the first thing you gotta learn. Keep the door closed. Up and down these stairs, that's the hard part. O.K., so now you're here, close the door.
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Applicant: [Closes door] How are the benefits in this job?
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Hunchback: [Both going back up] Well, it has its ups and downs. The Church board will buy you ear plugs every six months and a new bottle of bell polish once a year. [Finally arriving at the bell] All right, now you stand over there, and I'll show you how it's done. First you grab the bell here and push it out very hard [steps back and follows path of bell out and back] then the bell comes back on its own. That's all there is to it. Do you think you can do that?
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Applicant: Sure! [does the action with the bell, but does not step back, is hit by bell and falls back, to the ground]
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Hunchback: Oh my gosh! He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk. I'd better get down there. [Goes 'round and 'round until he reaches the ground]
[Crowd enters mumbling, stops astonished at body]
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Gendarme : [Entering, calls to Hunchback] Hey you! Do you know this guy? [Rolls body over with foot]
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Hunchback: No, but his face sure rings a bell!
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Bell Ringer #2 [The trick with this skit is to do it the night after doing Bell Ringer #1, and to do everything exactly the same.]
[Dialogue is the same until the applicant arrives]
Hunchback: You look just like the guy who was here yesterday.
Applicant: Oh, that was my twin brother.
[Revert to the original dialog again until you reach "Hey you! Do you know this guy?"]
Hunchback: No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was here yesterday!
Bell Ringer #3 [To be used ONLY when Bell Ringer #1 and #2 have been used.]
[Two players enter in rain slickers holding blanket between them like a jumping net. The jig and jog around the performing area.]
Gendarme : Hey, what are you guys doing ?
Fireman #1: Well, the last two nights some guy has jumped out of that bell tower, and we came to catch him!