Why Are You Late?

skit notes

The strangest thing I've ever seen was a dead donkey by the side of the road—in the middle of a two-mile elevated causeway that connected two urban areas over a floodplain. I never did find out how that happened.

[Worker #1 rushes in, breathless.]

Boss: Why are you late?

#1: Sorry I'm late, Boss. My car broke down, so I took the bus. But the driver hit a tree, so I had to take a cab. And it broke down, too. Fortunately, I was near a stable so I borrowed a horse. But it ran so fast that it had a heart attack and collapsed. I had to jog the rest of the way!

[Worker #2 comes in, same way.]

Boss: Why are you late?

#2: My car broke down, so I took the bus and the driver hit a tree, so I had to take a cab. And it broke down, too. I was near a stable so I borrowed a horse. But it ran so fast that it had a heart attack and collapsed, so I had to jog the rest of the way!

[Worker #3 comes in, same way.]

Boss: And why are you late?

#3: My car broke down. I took the bus and the driver hit another bus. I tried an Uber, and it broke down, too. I was near a stable so I borrowed a horse. It had a heart attack and collapsed, so I had to jog the rest of the way!

[Worker #4 comes in, not breathless.]

Boss: Why are you late? No, wait. Let me guess. Your car broke down, so you took the bus. But the bus driver hit a tree, so you took a cab. And it broke down too. Fortunately, you were near a stable and so you borrowed a horse. But it ran so fast that it had a heart attack and collapsed, so you had to jog the rest of the way, right?

#4: No boss, you got it all wrong! The streets were so crowded with broken down cars, buses and cabs, trees, dead horses, and worst of all, some crazy joggers that I couldn't get through!