Camp Winton Songbook
This classic skit is done to a bobbing rhythm, with the characters physically bobbing up and down, each line being two measures of four beats. For example, "Sob [beat], sob [beat]. Sob sob sob [beat]." It spoofs melodrama.
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This skit requires Ma, Pa, Delilah, a Cow, the Landlord, a Hero, and a Lawyer.
skit notes
I found out recently that the original first line was "Boo hoo. Boo hoo hoo," to match with "Moo, moo. Moo moo moo."
The rhythm goes like this:
We don't have the money for the mortgage on the farm.
The original here had a short gunfight. But honestly, the lawyer's funnier.
MA, PA, and COW: Sob, sob. Sob sob sob. Sob, sob. Sob sob sob.
DELILAH: What’s the matter, Ma? What’s the matter, Pa?
MA & PA: We don’t have the money for the mortgage on the farm!
DELILAH: I thought we had the money for the mortgage on the farm!
MA & PA: The cow ate the money for the mortgage on the farm!
COW: Moo, moo. Moo moo moo.
ALL: Sob, sob. Sob sob sob.
LANDLORD: Good evening, Mr. Brown. Good evening, Mrs. Brown. I’ve come for the money for the mortgage on the farm.
MA & PA: We don’t have the money for the mortgage on the farm!
LANDLORD: What happened to the money for the mortgage on the farm?
MA & PA: The cow ate the money for the mortgage on the farm!
LANDLORD: Then I’ll take Delilah for the mortgage on the farm!
DELILAH: Oh nooooooooooooo!
COW: Moo, moo! Moo moo moo!
ALL: Sob, sob. Sob sob sob.
HERO: Good evening, Mr. Brown. Looking kind of blue.
PA: That villain took Delilah for the mortgage on the farm!
HERO: Then I’ll have my lawyer get Delilah and the farm!
LAWYER: A writ! A cite! A legal knockdown fight!
LANDLORD: Ow! My wallet! The court case ate my wallet!
DELILAH: Oh, my hero! My hero hero hero!
HERO: And here’s your Delilah and no mortgage on the farm!
COW: Moo, moo. Moo moo moo.